Custody Modification: What If Your Kids Hate Living with Your Ex? Part I
Child custody battles during divorce often become heated and contentious. After a divorce decree and child custody agreement are finalized, it’s not as though those contentious months suddenly never happened. A divorce may mean a clean slate as far as your spousal and romantic relationship is concerned – but if you have children, a divorce does nothing to change the fact that your ex will always be the biological parent to that child.
Most of the time, unless some egregious exceptions apply, divorcing couples need to come to terms with the fact that their child’s other parent will be a part of their lives. A part of their kids lives. And, where possible, it is often most healthy when parents encourage their child’s relationship with the other parent.
But what if your child hates living with your ex? What if they just cannot get along? Is there anything you can do? Under what circumstances can existing child custody agreements be modified?
We all know that parents are not always their kid’s favorite people. There is a big difference between a child and parent not getting along, or one parent being more of a rule enforcer so the child prefers the other parent, and a truly concerning reason that warrants custody being stripped away.
When a situation truly is unhealthy or detrimental to your child – what can you do? And how can you accomplish it? This article, and its continuation in part two, will help you navigate some of these answers. For tailored advice and proactive solutions in your own case, contact the experienced child custody attorneys of Cardwell, Steigerwald Young.
Best Interest of the Child
When ruling on child custody cases the court weighs many things. Paramount among them is: what is in the best interest of the child? What will ultimately make them happiest and most secure? This is more than the parent’s opinion, or the child’s preference – though (of course) both of those factors will come into play.
What is best for a child, considering all evidence provided, is not necessarily going to be what one parent wants, or even what the child wants at the moment. The courts see value in children having access to and support from both parents. Those relationships are, by and large, worthy of support.
In a strictly legal sense, mothers and fathers initially come to the table with an equal claim to their children. Factors can change that, but it is helpful to think of that as ground zero.
Types of Child Custody
Before we discuss how to modify “custody,” it is useful to fully understand four different types of child custody in California:
- Legal Custody: the right to make important decisions regarding a child’s life, including where they go to school, medical care they receive, etc.
- Physical Custody: the right for a child to live in the home.
- Sole Custody: when the court grants one parent total legal and physical custody.
- Joint Custody: This is when both parents are granted a mix of legal and physical custody. It does not necessarily split evenly.
How Do You Modify Child Custody?
Once the courts make a custody order, it is difficult to modify (not impossible, but difficult). If you pursue this path you should anticipate that it could take a good deal of time, effort, and money. Though the simplest and most cost-effective solution is when both parents agree to the change. If situations change and both parents agree that the order should be modified in order to best serve the child – renegotiating the custody agreement becomes much simpler. Courts will generally defer to good-faith efforts of parents to serve their children’s best interests – experienced attorneys at Cardwell, Steigerwald Young can help you craft a revised agreement that expresses you and your child’s needs and protects your interests.
Contact Cardwell, Steigerwald Young.
The next installment in this series continues the discussion on modifying custody orders, and the part your child might play in that process. For experienced, tailored advice on your own circumstances, contact the experienced San Francisco child custody attorneys at Cardwell, Steigerwald Young. Our expert team can help guide you through every step in your own custody journey.
Sources:
selfhelp.courts.ca.gov/request-for-order/custody-visitation
smdailyjournal.com/sponsored/co-parenting-in-san-diego-adapting-custody-agreements-post-pandemic/article_06ccfc10-f570-11ef-8820-4fd533e9454f.html
